Asking For Help Is An Essential Life Skill by Mindset Coach Michele Demetriou
Michele Demetriou is the founder of Michele Demetriou Coaching and is a Certified Mindset and Life Coach. She works with clients on taking them from where they currently are in their lives to the life of their dreams.
PHOTOGRAPHED BY ESTHER LEE LEACH
Behind the scenes of any success or achievement, even those that are, by all appearances, perceived to be individual accomplishments, there are a host of people offering support, encouragement, time, and skillsets to shine the spotlight on someone else and help them secure their dream. Be it an athlete or sports team, a CEO, a famous actor or musician—none of them have achieved their success without countless others' contributions. No one does it alone.
Human beings are hardwired to belong, be accepted, and be a part of a larger community. Yet today, we are more digitally connected and more socially detached than ever before. We receive praise for having independent spirits and being self-reliant. Because of this thrust toward individualism, many find it more difficult than ever before to ask for help.
It makes perfect sense. What our human brains tend to do is tell us over and over—
You've got this.
You can do it.
Just muscle through.
Our egos are a hell of a drug, and we rely on ourselves until we reach the point of exhaustion and can no longer tolerate the pain, the endlessly spinning thoughts in our minds, loneliness—or whatever our tormentors might be. Faced with the thought of reaching out and asking another for help paralyzes us with fear and anxiety. We question our very abilities and squirm at the thought of being exposed as an imposter. Ironically, in these moments, the bravest and most vulnerable thing we can do is reach out and say—I can't do this anymore. I can't do this alone, and I need your help.
In the past couple of months, in my work as a Life and Mindset Coach, I have had many people contact me asking for help. That probably sounds obvious when you think of hiring a Coach, yet lately, it's been with a different undertone. Typically, a potential client contacts me to work on something specific. But in this new year, the requests have had a different tone, and it goes something like this— "I'm not doing well, and I need help."
Ideally, clients would begin work with me when things are going well for them. The process I follow allows us to develop a deep trust and to move forward with a framework designed particularly for them that takes them from where they are today to where they want to be in their lives.
And then, inevitably, when life comes at them—and it always does— and they encounter a rough spot or a low point in their life, the plan we have put in place takes over, and they follow that and get to the other side, in much better shape than they would have without having done mindset work.
However, and not surprisingly, most clients seek me out when they encounter a tough time in their lives or encounter an obstacle that they don't have the skills to maneuver or overcome. They reach out to me as someone who has the tools and skillsets to close the gap. We get laser-focused on the change desired and where the client wants to go, and we look at current data with a focus on an end goal.
In this unprecedented year, we as a society have experienced more time alone: working remotely; working from home while partner or spouse does the same; more time spent with a significant other than ever before; children being taught remotely from home—substantial changes and challenges never before experienced as a society and a world. Of course, we may need help maneuvering these unknowns.
Learning how to ask for help is an essential life skill. It is never as uncomfortable or challenging as the story we have written about it in our minds.
It's brave.
It's vulnerable.
And most people genuinely enjoy helping others.
So ask. No one can do it alone. The athletes, CEOs, actors, and musicians don't. And neither should you. Put the spotlight on you, and surround yourself with a support team that helps you achieve all you want to be in your life.
Ask for help.
I love hearing from you. Email me at michele@micheledemetrioucoaching.com or DM me @micheledemetriouchoaching to book a free 30-minute session or ask any questions.// micheledemetrioucoaching.com